Summer Series

  • I saw him by Khloe Janel

    I saw him. Yesterday.

    My feet went numb and my heart skipped a beat.

    I hid behind bushes and cut thru trees,

    To avoid the person I used to be.

  • I cut my hair today by Khloe Janel

    I cut my hair today

    Not as rebellion,

    Or to look like someone else,

    Or to feel more beautiful.

    But because I wanted to.

    I just wanted to.

    And that's a good enough reason for me.

  • Black Girl With White Girl Problems by Khloe Janel

    Eating disorders are for white girls I've been told

    Black girl with white girl problems since I was 12 years old

    Distorted image of who I really am 

    Too skinny,

    Too fat,

    "Be grateful you have hips like that"

    Desired only for the body I desperately want to get rid of

    Fighting food everyday in order to find real love

    Now- years later, I pray I get that same body back

    Apparently it's in style now

    For months, I've consumed as many calories as my body will allow

    Praying it will go to the right places

    Not too much though

    Just enough to be considered beautiful again

    When will it be okay for me to love my black body?

  • Summer Daze by Khloe Janel

    Summer daze

    Sting my eyes when I stare at you too long.

    Overshadowing the clouds, you shine brighter than stars alone during sunrise.

    Share with me.

    Love with me.

    Feel with me.

    Forever.

  • Bad News by Khloe Janel

    I got bad news from a lover who once loved me years ago.

    She told me I was in her dream several nights before.

    Now me-being the person that I am, didn’t know what to say.

    So I said nothing at all and went on my way.

  • Wednesday Mournings by Khloe Janel

    I let myself cry for 2 minutes exactly.

    I set the timer and tears started to flow.

    Worries of today swept under my feet, pulling me like a magic carpet would

    Only this time, my magician was nowhere to be found

    Left alone, once again, a girl with dreams that can't seem to come true no matter how many stars I wish upon.

    Ding!

    Ding!

    Ding!

    My alarm rings

    I wipe my tears

    I put my pain in my pocket to revisit on another lonely mourning.

    As I get ready for the day, I hug my body tight, reminding myself that everything will be okay.

  • Sounds of Anxiety by Khloe Janel

    Do more

    Say less

    Don't stress

    You worry too much

    You think too much

    You do too much

    You are too much

    Am I enough?

    Stop

    Breathe

    Focus

    Breathe

    Smile

    Breathe

    See

    Touch

    Smell

    Feel

    Breathe

    Relieve

    Do it all over again

  • Short freestyles on Friday Afternoons by Khloe Janel

    Short freestyles on Friday afternoons

    Is what I do

    When I’m not in the mood

    To speak.

    I sit alone in my room

    With the sun shining thru

    As if she birthed me herself.

    I whisper soft tunes

    And she responds with advice I didn’t ask for but needed to hear.

    We sing together,

    Making music as if the sounds were the blood that kept us alive.

    Hours pass and I miss her when she’s gone.

    I sing those same songs well into the night

    Until she’s back

    Rising for the occasion that is a new day

    And we do it all over again.

  • Only by Khloe Janel

    Only the sun appears after the rain

    Only the smiles come after we go insane

    Only the stars shine through the clouds

    Only the moon twinkles in the dark

    Only the lion can tame its mane

    Only the heart can heal its pain